Five years ago, in an early step to reclaim my life, I had weight-loss surgery. It was, hands down, one of the best decisions I ever made. Losing weight brought sharply into focus how much I was beating myself up and letting others belittle me just based on my physical size. Never mind that at a size 24 I exercised 2 hours a day six days a week and was actually in better condition than most skinny people. Never mind that my blood pressure and blood sugar was not only normal, but on the low side of normal. Never mind that I had energy to spare and never got sick because I was actually quite 'healthy'. In fact, 'skinny me' needs to get on an exercise schedule and stick to it in order to feel better, have better energy and combat the blues. None of that matters when all anyone can see is a fat person.
Americans are obsessed with size. Not health--size. If we were obsessed with health, super-skinny bordering on anorexic stars wouldn't be idolized. If you are fat, people assume you are lazy. And stupid. And somehow lesser than anyone else. They feel free to make comments to you about what you purchase at the grocery store, or how you look in clothes. Or to say things like "you have such a pretty face, too bad you're overweight." No matter how mentally strong you are, constantly hearing this takes a huge psychic toll. I very much took on board that somehow I deserved to be treated as a lesser human being because I was overweight. I accepted less from my employers, my marriage, and worst of all, myself. Why people find it necessary to belittle others is beyond me; and in our culture it is very much acceptable to put down, mock and otherwise degrade those who are overweight. Why this small-minded attitude is allowed to persist I simply do not understand.
Being thin, though, is not a panacea. It has just stripped away the 'fat excuse' from everything that was not right in my life. It exposed my marriage for the fraud that it was--a painful thing, but a good thing for all of us involved. It gave me a confidence boost to take the steps needed to start down a trail on my own--this trail is scary and I am not convinced I can do it, but at this point I have no choice (failure is not an option) and I do sincerely believe I am a better person, friend, and mother for stepping outside my safety zone, breaking the socially acceptable box I was firmly ensconsed in. Looking back though, I am astonished at how easy it was to let me size be the excuse for inaction. Doctors see an obese person and don't look for any underlying causes to health issues--the assumption is that losing weight will fix it all. Guess what? I'm still suffering from depression. And my knees are still painful if the weather is changing or I sit still too long (like at work). But now, I can get health care providers to listen, because the assumption is not that if I just lost weight the problem would be resolved.
I challenge all of you to look past someone's size. To catch yourself making the negative stereotypical assumptions about somebody because of their weight. Are there lazy fat people? Heck yeah!! But not every fat person is lazy...give a person a chance to prove their worth--or prove their lack of worth--outside of what size pants they put on. And, I encourage everyone, regardless of size, to focus on health. Eat well and heartily of nutrient rich foods, exercise daily to keep disease at bay and blood flowing well through your muscles. Be content in who you are, believe in yourself, really listen to your body and soul and take the steps that you need to take to be the best person you can be. If we all did that, can you imagine how beautiful this world could become?
Americans are obsessed with size. Not health--size. If we were obsessed with health, super-skinny bordering on anorexic stars wouldn't be idolized. If you are fat, people assume you are lazy. And stupid. And somehow lesser than anyone else. They feel free to make comments to you about what you purchase at the grocery store, or how you look in clothes. Or to say things like "you have such a pretty face, too bad you're overweight." No matter how mentally strong you are, constantly hearing this takes a huge psychic toll. I very much took on board that somehow I deserved to be treated as a lesser human being because I was overweight. I accepted less from my employers, my marriage, and worst of all, myself. Why people find it necessary to belittle others is beyond me; and in our culture it is very much acceptable to put down, mock and otherwise degrade those who are overweight. Why this small-minded attitude is allowed to persist I simply do not understand.
Being thin, though, is not a panacea. It has just stripped away the 'fat excuse' from everything that was not right in my life. It exposed my marriage for the fraud that it was--a painful thing, but a good thing for all of us involved. It gave me a confidence boost to take the steps needed to start down a trail on my own--this trail is scary and I am not convinced I can do it, but at this point I have no choice (failure is not an option) and I do sincerely believe I am a better person, friend, and mother for stepping outside my safety zone, breaking the socially acceptable box I was firmly ensconsed in. Looking back though, I am astonished at how easy it was to let me size be the excuse for inaction. Doctors see an obese person and don't look for any underlying causes to health issues--the assumption is that losing weight will fix it all. Guess what? I'm still suffering from depression. And my knees are still painful if the weather is changing or I sit still too long (like at work). But now, I can get health care providers to listen, because the assumption is not that if I just lost weight the problem would be resolved.
I challenge all of you to look past someone's size. To catch yourself making the negative stereotypical assumptions about somebody because of their weight. Are there lazy fat people? Heck yeah!! But not every fat person is lazy...give a person a chance to prove their worth--or prove their lack of worth--outside of what size pants they put on. And, I encourage everyone, regardless of size, to focus on health. Eat well and heartily of nutrient rich foods, exercise daily to keep disease at bay and blood flowing well through your muscles. Be content in who you are, believe in yourself, really listen to your body and soul and take the steps that you need to take to be the best person you can be. If we all did that, can you imagine how beautiful this world could become?
In general we criticize others to make us feel better about ourselves. I would like to think I'm above all that, but occasionally I turn my criticism away from myself. Low self-esteem is human, and sometimes, unfortunately, those with the highest abilities succumb to degrading others, and only succeed in diminishing themselves.
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